Presence · First, do this
Leave the argument without abandoning the person: say when you will return, then lower your body before solving the problem.
Anger is information and energy. It is not permission. Name the threatened thing beneath it: respect, control, fear, exhaustion, or grief.
Do not argue while your body is preparing for war. Slow the exhale, unclench your hands, drink water, and walk until your voice belongs to you again.
Return at the time you named. Begin with the part that is yours, then ask what the other person needs you to understand.
One act now
Say: I am too charged to speak well. I will come back in twenty minutes, and I will come back.